STOP IMPOSING YOUR OWN PREFERENCES ON CHILDREN
1. During their childhood
· There are times
when highly involved and intense parenting smothers a child’s adult life.
· It may lead to an attitude of entitlement to his parent’s
wealth. that may
hinder an idealistic young man keen to be on his own.
· In the modern age
of parenting, children are trophies to admire and to show off.
2. During their
earning years
· Parents should
recognise the income question as the first intrusion in what should be a
personal affair of the individual, and desist from asking about how much your
child earns.
· Parents also fail to
see that the lifestyle they afford to their children comes from their having climbed
up the ladder of success, whereas your child needs to build and own her success
story.
· Stop making the
decisions about where she would live, what she would wear, how she would
commute and what she would eat.
· Encourage her
self respect by desisting from the temptation to ‘chip in’ with monetary help.
· There are parents
who have recognised the fact that their child’s social life would not include
them.
· But they are
unwilling to see that the child may like to be excluded from the parents’
social circle too.
3. During their investing
· Parents take upon
themselves the investment decisions of the earning children.
· The risk profiles
of the modern youth and that of the parents could be vastly different.
· This has interfered
in every single decision, from changing jobs, to moving location, and marriage.
· Let your child
take his or her own financial decisions.
· Some well meaning
parents take on a part of their child’s financial burden which ruins the
possibility of the youngster developing financial discipline in his life.
· What begins as
“support” soon becomes entitlement for those youngsters who
are unable to manage a lifestyle that fits into their income, hence misuse these props.
4. During your retirement planning
· Make sure
you have defined the limits of your generosity well in advance.
· It might be a
better idea for you save up your money today so that your future medical bills
do not have to depend on your child’s income.
· What counts as
the ultimate harmful indulgence is the mindless acquisition of assets in the
name of the child, and the incomplete bequest of the same.
· The properties,
investments, deposits and other assets have been created as buffer, so the
child feels secure, although these decisions
might have been made without consulting the child.
· The bequest turns
into a painful process of claiming assets that were fondly built, but useless
and poorly bequeathed.
5. In conclusion
· Underlying all
these well-meaning and eager behaviour is the overwhelming parental angst to
ensure the best for the child.
· But have you
allowed the space for your child’s preferences?
· And waited for
him or her to ask and explicitly seek your help?